Woke up in the morning, clear some mail and news. Then I started Limewiring again. The good thing was that later in the afternoon I spent it at my God mom’s place. The problem was when I returned home in the evening, I started watching some mindless TV. To make it worse, at night I watched part of the same program.
Sometimes I wish that there is a machine that actually can put all my thoughts straight into writing. There are so many things that I want to talk about and yet I am so lazy when I do so in writing.
Basically, I have a problem. A problem that basically has grown and grown ever since I entered NUS. Reading “ The Leader in you” by the Dale Carnegie Foundation and “The 7 habits of highly effective people”, some points do come up to me. Take the enthusiasm for example; I think it is very true that I have lost enthusiasm for many things.
Probably back in JC, I was much more alive as I have just come out of RI, a boy school that I must say that I didn’t have much interpersonal deep conversational relationship. Then in JC, probably with the influx of girls into my life, I probably found more people that I can talk to. It was very important too then that I had a clear goal in my life – that was that the subjects that I was taking was in preparation of my recycling goal.
However, I must say that when I came out of JC, after a failed relationship when I have spent so much time talking to someone, then to a result in the end when both parties don’t talk to each other anymore, I have come to a conclusion, there was not much a point talking so much anymore.
To make it worse, I also felt like that always hearing meixing telling her stories every night and not only to me but to her friends also, I began to think why the hell she has so much time. It seems to be a waste of time to be talking to people so much.
Yet, reading Dale Carnegie did make me realize one thing – I am not interested in people as I was in the past and this is creating a problem in me!
I think I am very fortunate that God gave me books to make up some relationships and coaches that I am lacking in my life:
- The Science encyclopedias in Geylang East Library that built my interest in science
- The Analects and Great Learning that spark off a thirst of learning in me. More importantly, to put the community before self and to uphold integrity.
- A leadership/psychology book in Sec 3 that conveniently came into my life as I was getting reading to lead NCC. It inspired me to come up with a vision of NCC and more importantly for my life.
- “Time management of Dummies” in JC 1 that made me try to run my life better.
- Of course, there is the “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman. That book came into my life in sec 3 and that probably got me to be more interested in talking to people in JC. Here I also want to mention that my God sister paid for this book when I lost my original by leaving it on a school bus. Thanks to her, I had the chance to be inspired by this book.
- “Sophie’s World”. This book came at a perfect timing when I was wondering about how much time I am spending talking my life away. This book made me think more about the existence of life, though I have to agree that philosophers hardly agree with each other and philosophy just raise more questions instead of answering them. However the most important thing that it does is to make you question life and how you spend it. Though I must say that I have become a more unfeeling person in my ever quest to lead a more productive life, the book has done more good in making me question life and desire to make my life a better one.
- Steven Pinker’s “How the mind works”. This and some other evolution book spark me off in the next direction of trying to look for science to explain many things. It got me interested because I have come to realize science can actually explain so many things already. The thing I felt most regretful is that I only read these books like a decade after they were written.
- Of course, other books like “The Blind Watchmaker”, “Rise and fall of the third Chimpanzee”. The beauty of these books explained about evolution and made you realize Man is not that special afterall. Perhaps, the best part of it is that it makes you think together with philosophy, why the hell you bother with some things like movies or countdowns when there are more important things that help answer the meaning of life for you.
Seems to be a mindless rattle of into books, but hopefully someone will read this entry and maybe pick up some of the books I mentioned here.
Once again, thanks to my mother who made it possible for me to not work to earn money and write this mindless stuff here.
Insanity within the Sane