Last Thursday, I quit the job with CPG and I guess I just went into a little depression. I guess my down mood is simply because I am not sure if I made the right decision, job search will have to start all over again and last but not last but not least, the uncertainty of whether I will find another job.
As Shili said to me, her dad said sometimes in life, we just have to find a job that we do not dislike and earn a living. Immediately, I said to her I rather earn less money and then find a job that I like. In conclusion, I quit the CPG job not because of the lack of prospects or a bad working environment. I wouldn't know cause I haven't started work in Suzhou yet. It is simply because as I work on the brochure, I realised that I can't feel any passion or pride towards what the company is doing in Suzhou.
The Suzhou office is mainly involved in wastewater engineering as I have written previously, it is end of pipe treatment – something that I understand is necessary to keep the environment clean but not the ideal method to protect the environment.
Under some pressure from my sister the last time, after not being able find any local sustainability jobs, I opened up my scope and ended up with such a fine job. Now, I have live up to what I tell some of my friends that life is more than material comfort and wealth. As I try to tell Edwin, no matter how rich you are, in the end you just need a bed to sleep in. Hence I shall attempt to change from foreign expatriate to foreign worker.
I shall try to apply to the sustainability jobs overseas and if should still I am not able to get them. At least, I will be ready to resign to my fate. If I can't get a sustainability job, at least get something in the area of renewable or carbon credit. As I will classify it, environment field can be broken down into the following:
The first one is a field decades old, the last 3 are more exciting and vibrant.
So anyway, I guess my inspiration once again come from Richard Branson who wrote in his book : Screw it,Let's do it”. His mom became a pilot although at that time only men were allowed to be pilots and how she later became an air hostess although she was not qualified – she simply chatted up the night porter at the airport to put her name on the list.
Whatever, just do something that you like, even if you have to start from making tea. As my friend Jiahui put it, at least learn to make good coffee while you are at it.
While I have been wallowing and hiding, I have been playing game as well – doing the play a game for a few days and then delete it completely to stop playing. Still a lot to work on personal discipline there – though I tell myself to be self aware if I want to be doing that if today was my last day. Decided that I must avoid downloading all that, as I have plenty of videos to catch up with anyway.
There are too lots of frivolous little things that I can to anyway – the unimportant and maybe urgent, maybe not things such as polishing my shoes, selling stuff. The way to get things done then is to just target to do 3 small little tasks everyday. I mean tasks not projects like learning french, hence in my job search, it would be “send 3 resumes a day” instead of search the entire bloody database and then start. I always give myself too big an item to bite.
There will always be time to do other small little things