At this point, after about 3 weeks, I am kind of ready. Ready to just find a job that allows me to use my strengths, do what I am good at and maybe something not related to the environment. I want to find something related to sustainability – the fact remains that there are not many of such in Singapore, and it is a job that is rather diverse in job scope and hence there may be one and only one in Singapore. I want to go along with Paul Bronson:
"Failure's hard," he writes, "but success is far more dangerous. If you're successful at the wrong thing, the mix of praise and money and opportunity can lock you in forever."
It is more like a choice between going just for something that is remotely related to sustainability or going for something else that may be related to the environment and yet gives much more in terms of learning opportunities.
CPG job was one such offer of great learning opportunities. Let’s say we get a shot at the MND job – administrative role though we can learn more about sustainability and one which we can actually utilize my planning strengths, which one should it be?
Have I not tried overseas? Maybe not more than 20 but definitely more than 10.. It is just so unfortunate that CPG caught me at a time that I am not ready and I suppose it was really the pipe equations at the last minute that told me I want to try again. I want to get as far away as possible from all those equations.
Am I not intellectual enough to do all the sums? Not really, yet I know I don’t want and don’t find pleasure in doing equations. Yet, for one, I enjoy understanding concepts and how things happen as can be seen by all the popular science books I read from Richard Dawkins and Jared Diamond, at least compared to the most of the young population.
It is like, I want to be involved in a job where I talk to people about the environmental crisis, drive projects by sourcing out all the help needed and plan the steps to be taken with a final goal. Yet I can’t imagine myself trying to apply the sums from the Greenhouse Gas Protocol to calculate carbon emissions. Yes, I will not like it. However, I also know that I can take to it much more than calculating some reactor stuff. Why? Because there is no symbol looking scientific equations and I can feel the relevance of what I have to do.
As such, I know – I have to avoid those technical lines and go into the planning/administrator/ project coordinator lines.