Finished "delivering happiness", and it just hit me that I may have engineered myself towards unhappiness.
One key factor of personal happiness is connectedness and I have deliberately chosen to sign out of many things recently, cause I wanted to force myself to focus on a few things that I would like to do.
The other thing these few months was that I kept emphasising flow over purpose. This is one of the reason i chose to step down from coastal cleanup because I tell myself I need to find time to engage in my flow activity of making speeches and less from suffering administrative work for a larger purpose.
This stems from of course removing one of the 3 pillars of why I see saving the planet as a purpose/meaning to life - leaving a legacy. Yet , as mentioned in the book, flow or passion is only the second longest form of happiness compared to purpose which is the longest.
Therefore in a sense, I have just recently sabotaged myself to be unhappy.
Yet all these is fine if I am truly convinced that what I do truly serves the environment. Even if you do a carrotmob, you are still helping that small supermarket sell more. There is only one Patagonia that explicitly states growth is not core central to the company values.
Therefore, it is the lack of perceived control that eating me.
Sent from my iPad, please excuse brevity.